Welcome Old Ones

Most folks around here know that I am a pagan. Some know what kind of path I gravitate toward, Wiccan. So I cast circle most of the time to do my work.

The way the circle works is that I set up a barriar between me and any negative energy or beings that might be floating about. Then, I send out requests and invitations for certain other positive beings to come assist with or act as witnesses to my workings.

A circle casting usually ends with the statement "Welcome Old Ones". Most folks assumes that the Old Ones are all those being you have just summoned, stirred or called to your circle. There is another school of thought though, of which I am a follower, that the Old Ones are not any of the previously mentioned invitees.

The thought on this follows along the these lines.

There have always been Gods and Goddesses out there from the begining of time. They are numerous and varied. Just like us they have certain interests and likes and dislikes. This being accepted as truth we can move on to the idea that some of them were more active in the past than they are now.

There are Gods and Goddesses who perfered the old times. They liked the primordial world better than this present time. They enjoyed helping the Neanderthal and early humans in their struggles. It would be a little more exciting. Those people would have had a closer tie to their Gods as their very survival depended on Them.

This time was before written word. There may be little statues somewhere or a cave painting or two, but the names of these Gods have been lost to time. They are the forgotten Gods and Goddesses of our world.

These beings of forgotten names and powers are the ones we are welcoming. They recognise the call for aid from that place deep in the recesses of our hearts and minds that is still primal. The place that screams, "I will survive at all costs!"

In deep meditation or deep dreaming, when the veil starts to thin you can sometimes make contact with an Old One, or rather they can make contact with you. Given that chance, remember their names and use them. Call to them directly and their attention and aid are swift and powerful.

How do I know these things you may ask? My mate and I have attracted the attention of an Old One. Nahnua, The Loiness, Woman Who Hunts, The Den Mother, and she is an awsome being. We honor her and she honors us.

One day I will tell the story of how we met. This is something She would like very much. Times are changing and She knows She will be needed again soon. This frightens me and fills me with wonder. Her message for us for the moment is to gather your Pride and keep them close. Words to live by!

Love and Light

The Heart of Zanesville

A few years ago I read a blurb in a book about finding the heart of a place. I put that little bit of info away because there is really only one reason to find the heart of a city. That reason is to contact the Spirit of the City.

That doesn't sound like a bad thing at all does it? The trouble is that most of these beings are ignored by 99.9% of the folks who live in their domain. They are lonely. The problem comes when they have a friend or contact in the human world they tend to want them to stay in the city.

Now that doesn't mean you can't take a short trip or go on vacation. It does mean that you had better want to make your home there for a very long time. While being on good working terms with a Spirit of a given city can be a huge boost for every aspect of your life, it can cause extreme problems if you ever want to leave for good.

All of this has been much on my mind for a while. I was stalling. I was unsure if this city was where I wanted to spend the rest of my life. I didn't want issues if I decided to leave. I didn't want to hurt a being that was minding its' own business until I knocked on its' perverbial door. So time has gone by, until Sunday.

I figured out where the Heart was and I went there. I walked around for a while with Reaz. He took his camera and got some good shots of the place. It is a really nice spot. I certain area there really tugged at me.

It was a small square there that has a monument to those Police, Sheriffs, and Firefighters who have died in service to our town. They were warriors who fell defending the charges of the Spirit of the city. I too am a warrior in my own right and the daughter of a firefighter. It did not suprise me that this was the spot for introductions.

I had not planned to meditate there. I only thought to feel out the energy and get an idea of what this Spirit might be like. Almost as soon as I sat down my mind folded in on itself and I was adrift in a deep meditation. I called to the Spirit who was calling to me. She is a lovily creature.

I do not yet know her name. Spirits of any sort guard those very carefully. That information is for another day. Over time though, I think it will be given to me. For now I am content with the image of her. She looks Native American and peaceful. The wind was caught in her long blue black hair. She regarded me with a smile, small but genuine. We can work together, she and I.

Needless to say, I am not disappointed that I met her. I am glad I finally took that step. After all, fear profits a man (or woman) nothing.

Love and Light

Always Goodbye

There are people in my life that it feels like I am saying goodbye to all the time.

I once had a brother. Not the flesh and blood kind, he was a soul brother. We connected in this sort of kinetic way. I was the light in his shadows and he was the shadow in my light. I think his shadowing of my heart is why we had our last break.

All Brett has ever wanted to do was die. I know that sounds harsh, but it is true. Once a month, like some weird kind of male PMS there was a suicide scare or a drug overdose scare. Hell I was just scared all the time.

After about four years of being scared for him, and one huge blow out about it, I stepped back. If you are not always a strong swimmer yourself, you can not save a drowning person without the risk of drowning right along with them.

In truth, I hoped my leaving and him wanting me back in his life would be motivation enough for him to save himself. He professed the deepest kind of love for me and I had hope. Hope fades though over time.

He did clean up for a while. We talked a bit, but with true addicts who try to do things themselves sobriety can be short lived. His was. So a long silence stretched out between us.

I used to hear from him every couple of months. I would write back. There would be a brief exchange and then I would ask the questions he couldn't or wouldn't answer.

I haven't heard from him since May. All of my attempts to contact him have come to nothing. I am beginning to think that he finally found his way off this rock.

I should be happy for him if he has. There was not much other than pain and disappointment for him here. I am a selfish creature though and while we haven't talked much I never stopped loving him, not for a moment.

So my heart is breaking a little in these wee hours when I can't sleep and he is nowhere to be found.

Love and Light Bro, I hope you have found what you were looking for.

Puppy Love

My mother has two dogs, one of each sex. The male is fixed, but the female isn't. This got interesting yesterday.

The male discovered his sex drive. I did mention he was fixed? He should not have a sex drive. He was infact fixed before he had ever had sex, so he really just should not know about the whole tab A goes into slot B thing at all.

So it was funny for a while. He would hop on do a little jig for 10 seconds or so and then fall off. Disgusting? Yes!! Funny?? Absofrigginlutely!! For a while, it was histerical.

I heard this strange, panicked dog screeching coming from the female. I went to find her. They were stuck, and not in any normal position either. He had slipped off and gotten turned around. There they sat on the twin bed in my mother's room ass cheek to ass cheek.

The female is trying everything to get away from him. He looks miserable and a little ashamed. He is also standing stock still. What could I do? I called Alan to come help me get them turned around. So there we are thinking about how to approach this.

Finally I leaned across the bed and got a hold on the female's front legs. Alan climbed on the bed and was trying to get the male turned about the right way, and then.... the bed colapsed and the dogs were pulled apart. The female yelped, the male yelped, and to Alan's suprise I yelped.

Lets see I weigh 222 lbs. Alan weighs 225 lbs. The dogs weigh about 20 lbs. We figure the bed at 50 lbs. All of that weight landed on the arch of my right foot.



Sooooo the dogs got laid and I got laid up. How is that fair?

Love and Light